Mama Drama

Jayden walked over and slapped Ariana across the face. Camden lost control and crashed into Blakely. Hunter and Jackson were fighting for the ring before Cooper finally broke in and snatched it for himself! Brody looked on from a safe distance by the fence. What am I watching? Is it the newest daytime/nighttime soap on TV, Hulu or Netflex? Not even close. This drama takes place on the playground. At a park near you, little children are being raised as a collective brood; the next 90210-ers. The drama is high and the names are androgynous. Since when can I NOT tell the difference between a boy and a girl? The answer is now, now that Im awash in the throws of the toddler years. Unless these kids wear purple flowers or skull and crossbones, I'm just not sure anymore.



Am I the only one that finds these names unfamiliar and strange? I repeat the name the Mommy says but it falls flat on my tongue. (Do all these moms speak French too?) Usually its the girls with the short, whispy hair, too short for a pigtail that I do a double take. I swear there were no names like Brayden and Brysen when I was a kid. Do these parents have contest to see how many vowels and 'y's they can cram in a name? KayLee? Kaylee? Kaylei? So far Ive only mistaken a little girl for a boy once, to my credit the onesie was gray.

And why am I the only f*ing Mom climbing the jungle gym(is it even called that??) ladder or wall with the tiny hand holds after my son to make sure he doesnt fall. Hey, Im no 'copter Mom- I stay a distance away and let him do it himself. He's just a bit... unsteady still. But, The Other Mommies glance up from afar, over their Gucci sunglasses (fake, right?) on the bench, pulled away for the moment from their Smartphones. How can they even wear their Victoria Secret sweatsuit to the park? Aren't their afraid the rhinestones will fall off, I wonder?

I'm not beating it, I love my mommy life, just observations through the eyes of this 40-something Mommy. I sometimes feel like IM on another planet. Exploring new life forms. Some are (passive) aggressive, some are (mostly) harmless.

Hoping none of my new Meet-up Mommy friends read this, until they get to know me a little better. Oh, and hubby better get me a gift certificate to Victoria Secret for Mother's Day this year, Im gonna need it!