Why A BJ's Membership Doesn't Suck

Last Week I spent $25 at Chuck E Cheese in an hour. The only thing unusual about that is, on that day it pissed me off. I was annoyed to watch my money go bye-bye so fast. But wait, you cash in the kids' tickets aaanndd you get...a kid with a pucker mouth from insisting she wants Fun Dip and her Dad will never know. And my son's eyes lit up when he saw the plastic rocket he could proudly take home and show (fire at) Daddy. After much negotiating, thats, slipping the counter boy an extra dollar cause we didn't have enough bloody tickets, we left with our puny booty.

By the time we got home, I had a what looked like a zombie tween next to me from consuming said Fun Dip. Then as we walked through the door, the rocket thrusters fell off like magical pixie dust (Chucky dust?) wearing off.

I noticed, via Facebook of course, that a friend of mine likes to go bowling with her kids. So I called Whats-His- Name Family Amusements just to see. The young man who picked up patiently answered my questions since I hadnt bowled in a few years (not counting a 4 yr old's party last year). Kid's cost $3.50. Each? Each. Shoes cost $2.50 to rent. Each? Each. Adults cost $4.00. Each? Each. Multiple by 2 kids....I thanked him, and hung up. OK. This was going to run me $20 easily and that didn't include arcade games or pizza and hot dog from the snack counter. Not worth it for a Tuesday. Board games it is.

Then, yesterday, motivated by boredom and lack of money, I had an epiphany! Instead of Paw Patrol, I took my son out of the house to a giant playspace that wasn't crowded! Where is this Valhalla you ask? Why, BJ's Warehouse Club.

1) No pushy kids.

2) Plenty of snacks. Free! Bonus; Sam is learning news words. Say "sample".

3) Lots of space to run. Boy, those aisles are HUGE!

4) Who needs a Jungle gym? There are tons of pallets and metal bars to climb.

5) Interactive games. We played, "Watch out for that lady's shopping cart!" a lot.

6) Clean family restroom. Ahhh heaven.

7) Friendly and helpful employees. They dont look like zombies who just got their driver's licenses.

8) No buying tokens, special socks or shoes required. (My husband keeps trying to put those damn neon orange socks into rotation.)

9) Entertainment for adults too. "Aww look at the pretty baby crib and video monitors." "Two-pak 5 pound cans of baked beans for $7.99? Yes, please!"

10) There are BJ's everywhere. No need to shlep an hour! 15 minutes. tops.

11) I imagine I am a member of an elite, thats "fu-fu", type country club where only the most sought after Moms can afford membership.

12) Free boxes! I didn't even HAVE to buy $80 worth of groceries. I could have just grabbed boxes and headed home with Sam's new toys. Boxes.

13) Coupons!! As I signed up at the desk the smiling associate showered coupons into my waiting hands.

Yes, I got us a membership, but only because they had a special running this month. I told my husband to go over today for their weekly "Daddy and son day". They will love it. Have a sample.

Got another reason BJ's doesn't suck? Let me know.

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Mama Drama

Jayden walked over and slapped Ariana across the face. Camden lost control and crashed into Blakely. Hunter and Jackson were fighting for the ring before Cooper finally broke in and snatched it for himself! Brody looked on from a safe distance by the fence. What am I watching? Is it the newest daytime/nighttime soap on TV, Hulu or Netflex? Not even close. This drama takes place on the playground. At a park near you, little children are being raised as a collective brood; the next 90210-ers. The drama is high and the names are androgynous. Since when can I NOT tell the difference between a boy and a girl? The answer is now, now that Im awash in the throws of the toddler years. Unless these kids wear purple flowers or skull and crossbones, I'm just not sure anymore.



Am I the only one that finds these names unfamiliar and strange? I repeat the name the Mommy says but it falls flat on my tongue. (Do all these moms speak French too?) Usually its the girls with the short, whispy hair, too short for a pigtail that I do a double take. I swear there were no names like Brayden and Brysen when I was a kid. Do these parents have contest to see how many vowels and 'y's they can cram in a name? KayLee? Kaylee? Kaylei? So far Ive only mistaken a little girl for a boy once, to my credit the onesie was gray.

And why am I the only f*ing Mom climbing the jungle gym(is it even called that??) ladder or wall with the tiny hand holds after my son to make sure he doesnt fall. Hey, Im no 'copter Mom- I stay a distance away and let him do it himself. He's just a bit... unsteady still. But, The Other Mommies glance up from afar, over their Gucci sunglasses (fake, right?) on the bench, pulled away for the moment from their Smartphones. How can they even wear their Victoria Secret sweatsuit to the park? Aren't their afraid the rhinestones will fall off, I wonder?

I'm not beating it, I love my mommy life, just observations through the eyes of this 40-something Mommy. I sometimes feel like IM on another planet. Exploring new life forms. Some are (passive) aggressive, some are (mostly) harmless.

Hoping none of my new Meet-up Mommy friends read this, until they get to know me a little better. Oh, and hubby better get me a gift certificate to Victoria Secret for Mother's Day this year, Im gonna need it!

Infertility Aint for the Faint of Heart

Recently, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association's Facebook page asked the question "What do you want people to know about infertility?". I dont usually comment on the questions, but this day I did, and what I wrote has been echoing in my mind for days now. Infertility is my personal burden to carry, some days it is heavy, some days it is light. Years of testing, trying, and finally, rounds of IVF. I wrote something like "No matter how happy you are in life you will never forget". The knowledge that you are can not conceive a child in your body will stay with you. No matter how you choose to build your family, that fact does not go away. I tamp down the pain, filling the space with happy experiences and making memories with my family. Some days I don't think about it at all, other days it overwhelms you out of nowhere. Its a tug-of-war of the mind only now. I could be shopping at Target with my 2 year old adopted son who I love fiercely, but a mother walks by with 2 maybe 3 kids in tow -who all have a family resemblance- and BAM! I feel like shit. But not for long.... All I need is to just look down at my amazing son with his bright eyes and handsome face. He looks up and yells "Mama Mama!"... and the war is over.

Is he full yet?? And is this kid a comedian trapped in a toddler's body?

Its a good thing I just got CPR certified because G-d forbid, really, how much food can my kid shove in his mouth without choking?? I am continually amazed at the amount of food my child eat. I keep telling my mother-in-law that he's having a growth spurt but for real, I wonder if he is gonna blow up 'The Hulk' style when I dont get him his milk fast enough. Miiiilk!!! Two Motts applesauce cups for breakfast plus oatmeal? A giant potato pancake **with applesauce on top** (thanks Grandma Ellen!) and I mean GIANT. I measured one of those suckers at 4 inches across! 8 grapes (cut in eighths thank you very much)for snack time. He kept reaching in the cup with a look of pure delight... I think he would have rubbed those grapes all over his body if I left him alone. An entire hot dog, noodles and peas for dinner. noodle, hot dog, noodle, hot dog, noodle. So he alternated til there were just some peas left-then ate them too! And he has this thing now, where when he is enjoying something he's eating or making joking (like shoving his finger in your belly button) he closes his eyes and grins widely and goes 'Aaaaarrr" or 'beeeeeeep' depending on if you are mommy or daddy respectively.

Walking Tour

Boston is a very different city today compared to when I was growing up. Its not like the sun bleached, neatly manicured roads of Ft Lauderdale or the picturesque streets of Des Moines. These days Boston has a gritty quality; dark concrete and brick buildings that reflect a gum chewed, sullied and pee-streaked labyrinth that is the streets of Boston. On the up side, every morning as I come out of the train station, I am greeted by one of several homeless people wishing me a nice day or that God bless me. Usually it is similar on the way home; approaching the doors to the station, sometimes a blind man or perhaps a stocky man with dreadlocks and shiny new sneakers holds out his Dunkin Donuts cup for me to view how much change he has accumulated in the past hour. But I digress...


It was a beautiful afternoon and I decide to get out for a walk. I really don't take advantage of this city like I should. Here I am working right in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Downtown Boston and whats the first this I see when I cross the street? I see two pigeons having sex. I not only saw it, I was so close I felt like I was intruding. The moment I reached the sidewalk, these two start going at it. It was almost like a sign from God how it seemed like they were just waiting for me to get there. (A burning bush would have done just fine thank you.) And then, as quickly as it begun, it was over. But the pheromones must have been in the air because pigeons started landing next to me left and right. A least 30 of them! I couldn't step fast enough out of the way for them to join their two horny little friends cooing and snapping their necks, parading the sidewalk they they were gray and white winged models posing and walking down a cockeyed runway.
I sidestepped my way out of there and continued.

Boston is always full of chic and elegant people coming and going. The dress code varies as much as the people do. From men in suits and ties to hip 20-somethings in skinny jeans and high tops, from colorful African dresses and headdresses to grunge metal- to just plain homeless men or women grunge. You see it all.
Here I captured a photo of a woman who matched all the way down to her shoes. No small feat-but more easily done by having a DSW flagship shoe store just 2 blocks down.



I worked my way down Washington Street to the Chinatown. I love immersing myself in a culture where I can simultaneously buy a head of Bok Choy and a pound of chicken feet and get stabbed by the Chinese Mafia on the way home. Its very exciting.

I walked back, stopping at the giant CVS on the corner only to bear witness to a big man standing at the cash register yelling "Its jerky! There's no tax!" to the cashier. He loudly repeated this to the girl and the entire store. Then stormed out with said jerky. The manager another young girl who liked curiously just like the cashier said, "He didnt pay". I think they just "ate" that sale. As I left the store moments later I spied the man standing at the corner. I looked for the suspect jerky but I didnt have my glasses on so could make out much detail and didn't want to get too close. Although, I looked to see if he was chewing and he wasn't.

I dodge rolling suitcases, men with public spitting problems, women searching for Filene's Basement (try Newbury Street), young girls wheeling baby carriages and lines of teenagers with chips on their shoulders. I break through and manage to emerge at the Borders bookstore across from my office. If you think you are gonna be taking a break on the pubic benches out front of the store think again. Its and odd thing to see a homeless man singing to his boom box (on the bench-don't try to move it)next to him while beside him is a lady in Guccis and dark glasses tries to ignore him. Beside her sits obvious tourist family speaking a foreign language and looking very lost. All the seats are full. Why do you want to sit where bag ladies and drunks take up residence anyway?

Back at my office the tours were going by. They always stop directly in front of my office door. I don't want to alarm them, or push my way through a crowd of German or Japanese families so I wait for the guide to finish his spiel before going in. Beware tourists! Don't trip over the cracked and peeled "Freedom Trail" in front of my building and that runs through the city.

Kugel-mania Part 2

As for the Squash kugel, what a pleasant surprise when I pulled it out of the oven! With a ton of milk, sugar and eggs, it was the strangest kugel recipe Ive seen. In fact it is more like a squash pie or heavy custard. It was a beautiful bright orange sprinkled with cinnamon. The wonderful aroma reminiscent of a fall afternoon and Thanksgiving lingered. I would definitely make it again but perhaps half the recipe. The woman who entered the recipe for the contest had only one word to describe it... "Yum" she wrote and signed her name.

Of the nine kugels the others made, all used noodles except for one token matzoh kugel, and one even had chocolate in it (mixed reactions there). The food editor, G-d love her, made four kugels. When she walked into the office she promptly announced which kugel she thought would win.

The JA crew was excited. They eagerly awaited the tasting. They even started chanting "ku-gel, ku-gel". I set out plastic container after container as they came out of the microwave and set them on the long white table in the office. I deftly suggested we use that table where we would have more space to spread out (and since I thought the nasty smell i n the kitchen area would skew the tasting).


More than half of the staff had never even heard of kugel no less tasted one, but no matter. By the end of lunch everyone was pronouncing kugel like a pro.